I chose to make this web page because I searched the net some years ago hoping to find stories of other people who had met a 'significant other' online. I wanted to be able to learn from them, how they handled the very real and very new issues of cyber dating, what to look out for, what to hope for, and what to be afraid of. I found almost nothing on the subject, and pretty much had to wing the entire experience by myself.

     To be honest, I wasn't even comfortable about trying to talk to anyone that I knew about the strange relationship that I found myself in. I was afraid that my friends would think that I had lost my mind, for I found myself falling in love with a man that I had never seen face to face.

     He had left an entry in a guest book, offering to trade email with anyone that was interested in the content of the site, and I wrote him back, really just wanting a pen pal to keep me entertained. It was perhaps my first or second day on the internet, and I didn't really expect a reply. To make a long story much shorter, we started trading email, then snail mail as well, and within a couple of weeks, we were staying up until dawn with a direct chat program, and an hour every evening on the telephone. We swapped videos and traded packages in an effort to learn more about each other.

     While both of us felt a little lost without the 'standard' ways of getting to know someone (we couldn't go out and see a movie, go to dinner, or see the expressions on each other's faces as we 'talked' to each other), we still became very close.

     Not willing to go on blind trust alone, I learned to take the information that he gave me about himself, bit by bit, and plug it into various directories such as email locators, finger applications, a college search engine, and so forth. I wanted to be sure that he was who and what he said he was. After all, it wasn't like I could ask his friends about him; he lived almost 3,000 miles away.

     We shared most of our secrets because it was 'safe' to do so (after all, I never had to worry about him looking at me in shock over anything I said). After five months of as many creative ways of learning each other as two people can come up with, we met face to face. A little over a month after that first in-real-meeting, he threw what he could get into his car, and he was brave enough to move here to be with me. A little more than a year after the whole thing was begun, we were married.

     It wasn't easy to do things the way we did, and the fact that we weren't looking to meet someone else on the net didn't help matters any. We both had very full lives that we were leading, and the fact that we were both rather lonely was just something that each of us had learned to live with.

     It was a strange and incredible feeling to meet that stranger at the airport, the one I knew so well and not at all. The way we met allowed us to get to know each other better than we could have if we had spent that half of a  year physically dating, but it still left a lot to wonder about. To love someone when you have never even seen them look at you and smile... Still, it was what was in our hearts that was the most important, and the rest just fell into place.

          We had to answer some very hard questions such as who would move, did we know each other well enough to make that kind of decision, how far we were willing to go to try to make this thing work. We were lucky; somehow, we pulled the whole thing off. We have a new life with a beautiful daughter, and we have not never stopped feeling the amazement and wonder at the fact we met at all. 

     We are very happy with the sacrifices and gains we have made. Still, it's not for everyone.

     If you are facing anything like this in your own life, I hope that this page helps you.

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