*NOTE FROM THE WEBMASTER*  Parents, WHERE ARE YOU??? Look at the some of the ages on these stories!!

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Name:

james

Email:

senedzujames@yahoo.com

Age:

19

Dated-online-before:

No

Would-recommend-dating-online:

Yes

Remote Name:

41.210.1.241

Date:

01/18/2008

Time:

05:06 AM

Story

my is james ineed a friend

---

Name:

james

Email:

senedzujames@yahoo.com

Age:

19

Dated-online-before:

No

Would-recommend-dating-online:

Yes

Remote Name:

41.210.1.241

Date:

01/18/2008

Time:

05:07 AM

Story

my is james ineed a friend

Name:

whenchan

Email:

eli_ana1989@hotmail.com

Age:

18

Dated-online-before:

No

Would-recommend-dating-online:

It depends on the circumstances

Remote Name:

90.202.131.155

Date:

06/27/2007

Time:

02:42 PM

Story

Ok here goes. My tale is a rather strange one to say the least. I met my soul mate online approximately seven months ago. My feelings for him burn deeper everyday and we are great with each other all the time although neither one of us has ever admitted anything straight up. He is an Arab and a Muslim whilst i am a Jew and an Israeli. This really complicate things but never effects our friendship. We are really different and yet we get on so well! I know for a fact a life with him is out of question but i just can't help but feel blessed to be his friend and right now that will suffice. I never worry in advance and take each day stepwise, i really love the way i feel right now and though it frustrates me sometimes knowing too clearly that nothing will ever come of it, i still am deeply grateful for my wonderful friend. sometimes i find myself wondering whether he feels the same and if its all mutual and that. Though my thoughts incline towards the negative, i know for a fact he likes me as a friend and by all accounts i guess this way is much simpler on the long run because if he felt anything for me and brought it to light, i fear it might complicate things even more and by all means i certainly don't want my own feelings encouraged with false hopes which may sadly never come to be reality...this silence, it safes us both the heartache to put it mildly. I really am blessed to meet an angel such as him and i hope our friendship blossoms into something of a much larger scale and hopefully one day, i could feel comfortable enough to tell all this to him and we could both just laugh about it! He'd forever be in my memory and for now i guess i would have to just continue suppressing those sudden urges that make me want to confess my love for him so badly ...god bless my friend

Name:

carina

Email:

carinakennedy009@yahoo.com

Age:

20

Dated-online-before:

Yes

Would-recommend-dating-online:

Yes

Remote Name:

213.154.89.30

Date:

07/07/2007

Time:

06:35 AM

Story

Hoping you are fine and living good.Nice having your address, I wanna be your friend, for first friendship cannot be seen or even be touched, it must be felt within the heart.Hoping you feel just the way i do.Wow, friends are like clothes, without them you feel naked!I guess am right. Am carina kennedyAm From USA I am a teacher ,GOD have review something good to me,if you which to hear it, I will tell you more about myself, my family and all that maybe necessary in this relationship when you reply to this mail.If this interested

Name:

Frances

Email:

fstick1000@yahoo.com

Age:

37

Dated-online-before:

Yes

Would-recommend-dating-online:

It depends on the circumstances

Remote Name:

76.174.52.196

Date:

07/17/2007

Time:

12:28 AM

Story

The story I want to share is a cautionary tale. I met someone online, on Match, and we dated for about month. He was a successful plastic surgeon in Newport Beach, California. Harvard Medical, never married, and no kids, and attractive! I was amazed at how intelligent, and attentive he was towards me. He did mention that he was a "Dominant" on our first date. I have not experimented in the BDSM scene, so I did not really take to mean much. I was dazzled by this guy. I spent a small fortune on clothes and shoes to impress him. I thought I was falling in love. Sex was good, however, he wanted to push the limits and tied me up the third time we made love. He was disappointed I did not want to be blindfolded the next time. I realized at that point he may be into some stuff that I am not comfortable with. I decided to look around online at different BDSM sites, and sure enough, he had a live ad on Bondage.com. He is into stuff that reminds one of a disciple of Hannibal Lecter. Cages, restraints, humilation, mummification, the whole scary scene. I immediately ended the relationship, by phone. He was shocked that I found this stuff out, and also shocked that I wanted to end it. I still think about him, and how great he made me feel. But when I think about how he may want to torture me, it sends chills down my spine. The moral of this story is two fold. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. Be careful when you meet someone online, and do your research. Trust your gut ladies. People think they can hide in these creepy sites. We have to protect ourselves. Not everyone is looking for love. There are some who look to exploit and hurt others. Protect your heart and yourself from harm. Good luck and be careful before it is too late. F

Name:

Frances

Email:

fstick1000@yahoo.com

Age:

37

Dated-online-before:

Yes

Would-recommend-dating-online:

It depends on the circumstances

Remote Name:

76.174.52.196

Date:

07/17/2007

Time:

12:36 AM

Story

The story I want to share is a cautionary tale. I met someone online, on Match, and we dated for about month. He was a successful plastic surgeon in Newport Beach, California. Harvard Medical, never married, and no kids, and attractive! I was amazed at how intelligent, and attentive he was towards me. He did mention that he was a "Dominant" on our first date. I have not experimented in the BDSM scene, so I did not really take to mean much. I was dazzled by this guy. I spent a small fortune on clothes and shoes to impress him. I thought I was falling in love. Sex was good, however, he wanted to push the limits and tied me up the third time we made love. He was disappointed I did not want to be blindfolded the next time. I realized at that point he may be into some stuff that I am not comfortable with. I decided to look around online at different BDSM sites, and sure enough, he had a live ad on Bondage.com. He is into stuff that reminds one of a disciple of Hannibal Lecter. Cages, restraints, humilation, mummification, the whole scary scene. I immediately ended the relationship, by phone. He was shocked that I found this stuff out, and also shocked that I wanted to end it. I still think about him, and how great he made me feel. But when I think about how he may want to torture me, it sends chills down my spine. The moral of this story is two fold. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. Be careful when you meet someone online, and do your research. Trust your gut ladies. People think they can hide in these creepy sites. We have to protect ourselves. Not everyone is looking for love. There are some who look to exploit and hurt others. Protect your heart and yourself from harm. Good luck and be careful before it is too late. F

Name:

JANE

Email:

kang_oop@hotmail.com

Age:

26

Dated-online-before:

No

Would-recommend-dating-online:

Yes

Remote Name:

203.113.17.170

Date:

09/03/2007

Time:

12:02 AM

Story

LIKE TO MEET WHO HAVE TRUE LOVE I LIKE MUSIC LIKE COOKING

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Date:

Tasd Ousty

Name:

Tasd Ousty

Email:

oabu@vanda.net

Age:

40

Dated-online-before:

Thought about it

Would-recommend-dating-online:

It depends on the circumstances

Story

Love comes quickly, whatever you do

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Date:

02-14-07

Name:

PristinaRella

Email:

radcliffe144@yahoo.com

Age:

16

Dated-online-before:

No

Would-recommend-dating-online:

No

Story

i guess...there are certain reasons why people fall, maybe it's just so stupid to think that you love somebody not knowing the real reason why...i've felt that thing before, i never felt succesful, maybe because i wasnt proving anything right, or maybe i wasnt born for that? i Guess so..the thing is, what if you've already moved away from it, and decided to make you're self stronger, like a rock...like there's no one on earth can prove that true love does exist...but then you came to realize that after all, you still need it...though your heart deteriorated at the first try, why is it people craves for it? Maybe i was just being a jerk when i announced to the world i love him...huh,this is my story, i cant change just to satisfy him, i can't be what he want's me to be...but if maybe someday, he'll look at me wihtout any expectations, just the real me..nothing else, then ill just have to say thanks...please stay,

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Date:

2/18/07

Name:

Eve

Email:

theboyandeve1113@yahoo.com

Age:

Dated-online-before:

No

Would-recommend-dating-online:

It depends on the circumstances

Story

I guess in writing this I am asking for advice more than anything else. or maybe just to get it out in the open. For me this is strange.. thsi whole situation is bizarre. Right now I am 18 years old. I met my boy when I was 15 almost 16, he at the time was 17 and a half. It has now been over two years since we first "met" through a mutual friend we had both "met" online. i don't know why, but we ended up talking, and talking, and talking. At some point we decided to exchange cell phoen numebers. We've chatted on the phone a few times but never for more than 15 minutes. A little over three weeks ago i told him i didnt want to talk to him anymore. Our relationship was starting to scare me, i knew that he was becoming more than just a penpal to me, he meant a lot more. i had even applied to the college he is currently attending. He lives over a 1,000 miles away though. I was afraid more so because he had just broken up with his girl friend of over a year and a half. Shortly after I sent him the instant message, then blocked any communications with him. Excpet my email which I had forgotten he had. When i checked my email that night I had recieved an email from him just accepting my not talking to him. I was furious that he wasn't even going to object to me not talkign to him anymore. But the way he said was so sweet it just made my heart melt. I decided to tell him the reason why I am not talking to him anymore. i loved him. I was falling in love with him. He responded back with an email telling me that if i had gone to his college then we probably would ahve gotten married. (I also told him in the "I love you" email that I had applied to his college). Well the whole marriage thing kind of freaked me out. And then that night he called my house phone number which he had looked up online. I was absolutely furious with him and told him so, becasue he was betraying the fact that I could trust him and that he wasnt a stalker. So i told him so in an email. The following 3 days after that were terrible because he was constantly calling me everyday... on my cell phone. I eventually called him back once each day. The first night he told me that he loved me to, which I told him that that wasn't possible and what he was feeling was just a rebound (considering he and his girlfriend had only broken up less than 2 weeks before). He also asked me to be his girlfriend, whcih i also refused. He proceeded to tell me how much he wanted this to work. All that I could respond to him was NO! NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO! I knew it wouldn't work and I was beginning to take back my feelings for him, and beginning to doubt if I was "in love" with him. I told him he was being irrational, and he agreed that getting bus tickets to come to me was irrational but he wanted to do it. At that I promised him that I would continue to talk to him only if he didn't come meet me. More becasue I was afraid of my parents finding out about him. What would everyone think? I was freaking out... literally having a nervous breakdown. I didn't knwo waht to do so I pushed him away. Wha tI had been feeling for at least a year I had to convince myslef was not real... becasue I didn't love hima dn how could I love a man i had never met face to face. But through the talking online I had come to love and hate everything about him. But my question was that is this man real? was my boy as i constantly called him for real? He asked me if i really didn't want to meet him and I told him yes with ten times mroe surity than i had. i wanted to meet him more than anything else in the world, it was what I wished for everyday for the past 2 years. But I couldn't not under the circumstances. He told me he had mapquested my house (after finding my address along with my phone number) an eighteen hour ride. I was livid at him looking up my address, how could he violate such information. I had to be carefula s a teenage girl, no matter what eh said he could stil be a crazy rapist. I told him such. Then i told him that night that i knew I wasn't in love with him. For he was willing to drive 18 hours to see me but I wasn't for him. We weren't on teh same level. At teh end of that conversation he said that he had to apologize for tomorrow. I asked him what it was... and he said that at the time of his idea he thought he was losing a good frienda nd that now it can't be changed. The next day when i got home from school i recieved a dozen red roses along with an envelope with a letter in it. Both from him. I brushed my parents off... avoiding any questions about who this boy was. i told them I didn't like him. While at my friends house that day i checked my email, and found another from him. Apologizing for being creepy adn looking up my information and for so many other things. I wrote him back saying I thought it was best we didn't talk anymore... and I also thanked him for the roses. After a lot of rereading old conversations and letters i wanted to talk to the boy again. I sent him an email of over 1500 words. Telling him i was sorry for sayign somethign I didn't mean. That I wanted to talk again... but only through email. Then he didn't respond the next day... so i sent him two poems which i had written only two months ago. He responded back, saying that he two may have mistook what type of love he held for me. Referring to how the greeks have multiple words for levels of love where as we english people only have one word. I emailed him back again. Thats where its at now random emails. My story has no ending quite yet. i don't know what to do. I have read some of these otehr stories and they have given me both hope and caution. I believe that I may love him... really truly be in love with him. Otherwise Iw ould ahve been able to stay away from him. But I am also afraid of what my parents will say or think. Also I am still considerign goign to his college. I want to meet him, but I also don't want to lose him. i keep pushing him away. I feel like I am too young for this. I am 18 and he is soon to be 20. Should I call him? Should I instant message him? I don't know. If you ahve any advice please, please, please, email me. i need all the help i can get. Because you are the only people who know what I am expereinceing because you have probably gone through something similar. SO please email me with advice.

---

Date:

04/09/07

Name:

sandi

Email:

shaylee_starr82@yahoo.com

Age:

24

Dated-online-before:

No

Would-recommend-dating-online:

It depends on the circumstances

Story

around about 7 months ago i made a profile on myspace just fooling around, the profile i made was a fake as i was only doing it for fun and a little bit of a flirt with guys, i put all of my real details down on my page except a real photo of what i really looked like. the photo i had was of a very beautiful girl that i only dreamed to look like. within weeks of seting up my myspace profile i started reciveing messages of a guy named matt, i still remember the first message it was around about 9pm we started messageing back and forth all night as i started talking to this guy i had a totally diff feeling then what i felt when i talked to other guys on the net. after a few weeks of talking everyday on yahoo i relised i had started falling for this guy, witch was a bad thing realisticly because not only had i made up alot of storys that was not true about me, i aslo am in a 7 year relationship, witch of course he has no idea at all about. he was working over in western australia on the rigs, at the end of every shift we would talk on yahoo where he would put on his web cam for me so i caould see his face. one night after he had finished his shift over there we started talking and that day i relised i have fallen for him a far bit, so i knew i had to end it, it wasnt the way things were suposed to be didnt plan on fallening for anyone over the net i thought that was a stupid silly thing that people do. when i told him there would never be nothing between us i seen him cry on the web cam and i couldnt belive he really felt the same way about me, i told matt that i was pregnat and we could never be together, he begged and pleded for us to just remain friends over the internet, i couldnt belive what i was seeing and hearing from him it made me really sad so i aggred to keep talking to him as friends, we would talk on the phone or late at night while my boyfriend was asleep. now months later we do talk but not like friends and it is a million times harder to end this with him now that i know in my heart i love him i really do, he thinks i just need time and thats why we havent met yet, he thinks i will be his wife one day and in my heart i really want to, i think everyday of a way to tell him there will never be an us, iv even thought about telling him the truth but as the months has past there has been so many more lies. if i was the girl he thinks i am on myspace i would run to him with my arms open without a doubt. this is prolly one of the hardest things i will do due to the fact how can i break the heart of my soulmate,and how can i go on in life without talking to him everyday when we spend hours talking to eachother everyday. how can i do this to him i know he will be crushed when i tell him no matter what story i come up with. im so disugted in myself and i will never lie to any body on the internet again better yet im never going to talk to another guy on the internet. i found my soulmate under false circumstances......

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Date:

05072007

Name:

Jasmin. =]

Email:

ScaryEyes-x@hotmail.com

Age:

12

Dated-online-before:

Yes

Would-recommend-dating-online:

Yes

Story

I met my boyfriend on the internet on a chat room server called "HabboHotel.com.au", at the time i was 12 and he was 16 (Big age difference I know). We talked for a while on the net and slowly formed a bond, I had a huge crush on him. At the time he was in an awful state, he was about to go over the edge. It was awful. A few months after I met my ex boyfriend. His name was Lew. He broke up with me after 2 months, I got back on the net and I met Aaron (my boyfriend) again. We talked and he started to fall in love with me. After this he changed his veiw on the world, he stopped doing bad things. And slowed down on the alcohol. (He still drinks though but thats okay) I've never been as in love as I am today. Its been 2 years since I met him on the net, after 8 months of dating. He showed up down here (In Victoria as he lived in Queensland). Im now 14 and Aaron's 19. Still the age difference. but I'm alot more mature than I should be, and people think I'm his age. I've never been as happy as I am to this day, not being with him when I was younger was the most chalanging thing in my life. My heart would ache everyday for I was in love and I couldn't touch or hold the person I was in love with in my arms. But I love Aaron with all my heart, hes my everything. Its been 3 years this relationship has being going on for. And I cant see it ending any time soon.

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Date:

16/05/07

Name:

Henry Chuks

Email:

chimithen@yahoo.com

Age:

21

Dated-online-before:

Yes

Would-recommend-dating-online:

It depends on the circumstances

Story

At this time i was still new in dating online and i metr this girl who blew my heart away though she was sweet i never had to see her because my webcam was still bad then. She had the best of advice on every issue i put before her and was son accomodating with her words that i fell so much for her then did it strike me that i really do not know who i discuss with most often online, i simply ask for a photo even if she has no webcam. I insisted on this photo which she grudginly gave me after several meetings online and that was the end of my angels'm visit online. She no longer respond to my messages, she no longer even call my number or flash that i may call. If i had known where she stays in portharcourt, Nigeria, i would like to hear such sweet voice of hers once again or those write-ups which she is good at. Her pics i have enlarged in my bedroom and i honour everyday of my life........................... i want her back but she is far away. She chose to shut me out.

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Date:

05/12/06

Name:

Jasmin.

Email:

ScaryEyes-x@hotmail.com

Age:

11

Dated-online-before:

Yes

Would-recommend-dating-online:

Yes

Story

Okay I don't know how to explain this so I just will. Lol. I used to play this game/online chat site habbohotel.com.au, I met a few boys on there that I dated but one has stood out from them all. I met a boy on that chat site named Aaron, I kinda liked him at the time and he liked me too. I used to spend most of my day I could on that game chatting to him (About 2-4 hours at the time. Im a computer person <3). For a few months I lost contact with him, at the time he was drug addicted and he gave up with no help, by himself. Just because he met me. I found that amazing. I met up with him a few months later again, we kept talking every day from then on. Any time I could get on that computer I would, because I needed to talk to him. He was aparently getting ready to ask me out on November the 16th. But I beat him to it. ;]] .. I asked him out and he said yes, he went bright red and we both ran off into our rooms and screamed into our pillows. Lol. ;D .. I've been with Aaron for 7 months now. And not one moment of my day is spent not thinking about my boy, I love him with every fibre in my body.. One thing about our relationship is the age difference. Its a huge one, but people don't understand us. Im actually only 12.. And Aaron was 16 at the time, Hes now 17. 12 and 17. Thats 5 years, but its actually only 4. I'd never have thought about going out with someone that old. But I didnt think about that, my heart was talking and I went with it.. I might be meeting him later on this year, I hope so. My heart aches everyday for I cant be with the person Im in love with. And Im actually serious about that. .. I love you Aaron .. <3

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Date:

051707

Name:

Jennifer Ryan

Email:

jennifer_ryan2001@yahoo.com

Age:

27

Dated-online-before:

No

Would-recommend-dating-online:

It depends on the circumstances

Story

I met someone through a game site online. We chatted, flirted, began to learn more and more about each other. We opened up about ourselves, told each other our deepest feelings and secrets and thoughts. And needless to say, we "fell in love" with each other. It has been 2 months now. But here's the twist: I will never ever be able to meet him or be with him. Mostly due to being committed to someone else in real life. I know, I know. However, my "real life" relationship is open and caring and my partner understands and is not threatened by my online lover. My online lover knows as well that I will never leave my real life partner for him. And say what you will, I thought the same until I had this experience. I love two people. In totally different ways. So what do we get out of it, then? Love, for one. A total acceptance by someone else in the world, someone we can turn to whenever we need to talk about anything. He is only 18. He tells me the truth, or what he perceives as the truth: that he has social phobias, that he is NOT good looking, that he has never had a girlfriend and probably never will. He learns about females from me. He learns about relationships from me. We both learn about trusting, about jealousy (yes, all emotions on the net parallel all emotions in real life), about passion, and compassion. It is a rich experience for both of us. I can see having him as my online lover for years and years. I also hope I can help him to overcome some of his fears psychologically and socially, and help him to eventually dare to get a real girlfriend. I anticipate feeling both joy for him, as well as heartbreak, because I know I'll lose him at that same time. It is complicated. It is unusual. But it is sincere and from the heart, and it has made me a better person. Better to myself, better to others, better to my real life partner.

---

Date:

04/07/06

Name:

Yana Mikheeva

Email:

yana@womanspassions.com

Age:

25

Dated-online-before:

Flirted some, if that counts

Would-recommend-dating-online:

It depends on the circumstances

Story

How to write a letter for your partner You’ve placed your photo in a dating agency and began receiving letters. How to recognize your future husband and what to write in response? Our conversation will be on this subject. Of course, it’s impossible to give receipts for all cases. You know, your world, like your darling’s one, is unique and the fact of your communication with him itself – is a secret, which you both will have to open. Go forward bravely, be open and cautious, wise and naïve, weak and strong, be yourself. Our recommendations will help you to make the first step in a difficult matter of writing a letter to a stranger. How to make a choice? You need to filter letters of those men, who are not for you obviously. However, this doesn’t mean you need to ignore such letters. You need to reply to all letters. You just should prepare a standard reply, which you can send to all inappropriate candidates. Thank him politely for his attention and inform that his candidature is inappropriate for you. Don’t write that you’ve already met somebody. This way you’ll damage a reputation of the agency, which placed your ad. Agree, in such case it’s more logical to send a letter to the agency, asking to remove your ad. Thus, you’ll save your time, man’s money, who hopes to receive a positive answer from you, and save agency from unwanted troubles with a client. How to carry out filtering? Which signs you should use to determine whether this man suits you or not? There’s no 100% answer to this question. However, you should pay attention to the following moments: 1. What’s his letter about, as a matter of fact? Are you paid compliments? Does it contain unequivocal hints? Are you invited to a friendly correspondence? Does he write about some other topic, not concerning your wishes to find a husband? Or he writes you a serious detailed letter with a hope for possible relationships? If a man with obvious sexual deflections wrote to you, remember, which photo have you send to an agency? May be it contained some challenge and invitation for such letters? If so, then send another photo. But anyway, refuse to that adventurer. While reading the first letter from a man, always remember: a man, interested in your positive answer, will definitely consider his letter, try to send you a good photo, in short, try to make the first impression on you, and thus, prepare to this soundly. Maximum of efforts and time will be put in his first letter. 2. Whom a letter from? It’s very important to pay attention to the things your correspondent informs about himself: age, profession, education, place of living, presence of children etc. You should clearly understand what suits you or not in your potential partner. You should clearly understand those possible problems, you may face, if you ignore big age difference, presence of three kids, living with their father every 2 weeks, or the fact that he lives in a country, far from big noisy city. You shouldn’t also ignore those positive qualities, which attracted your attention. As it’s known, many things will be corrected in further relations. But basic ideas about your future darling should be clear and somehow stable. 3. Of course, in such important matter, like searching for a husband, emotional factor is also important. What did you feel while reading that letter? Whether that very sparkle flashed in you, of which a fire of love will flame up in future? Listen to yourself. What does your heart say? Do you like this man or not? And, nevertheless, regardless of positive and negative result of your dialogue with your heart, you should start correspondence. Time and also additional information about this person will sort things out. And, at last, what to write in response? The first letter – is your pass to a further life. You should put maximum efforts to introduce yourself in the best possible way and make the best impression. Can you use a standard sample? Of course, you can prepare a letter, where you will inform basic information about yourself and ask necessary to your opinion questions to a man. However, you will still have to treat each reply individually, making necessary additions. A man should feel that your reply was composed only for him. So, it will be good, if you comment his letter with a phrase, like: “You write that family is the main thing in your life, and I completely agree with you”. You should also definitely answer all his questions to you. Which sort of information should you tell about yourself? Write about your family, work, city, things you like doing in your spare time. Try to give him opportunity to imagine your life, your inner world. Approach to composition of a letter in a creative way, with inventiveness and at the same time humor. Which questions to ask? Try to ask him as much questions about his life and views on world, as you can. Ask about his hobbies, passions, things he likes doing in his spare time. It’s very important to know about his way of life, habits. You know, these are constituents of everyday life, which further will help or on the contrary damage your relations. What you shouldn’t write? You shouldn’t ask straight questions about concrete sum of income. It’s better to wait until a man writes you about it himself. Material base for marriage is a very important thing, and a man, interested in a strong marriage, should realize clearly that he takes responsibility on himself. On no account ask money. Otherwise, you run a risk to be blacklisted. As for general tone of the first letter, it’s better to choose friendly, interested tone, instead of dry, or, on the contrary, too intimate one. Remember, the first letter is your pass to further family life. You should do everything so that this pass would work. So, try to pay attention both to details and general content and appearance of a letter. Carelessness and inattention in this case may damage your family happiness. However, you shouldn’t be afraid to be misunderstood or that your letter may be uninteresting. Don’t ask anybody to write the first letter (and all other) for you. Remember, you’re searching for your soul mate and you want him to feel comfortable with you. So, he should read your thoughts and catch your mood through your letter. Be natural, calm and self-confident. If your admirer still doesn’t like your letter, this means he’s just not your man. Though, any normal man will be attracted by female sincerity, kindness and wish to understand him.

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Date:

04/29/06

Name:

Robin

Email:

robin@triedit.net

Age:

37

Dated-online-before:

No

Would-recommend-dating-online:

Yes

Story

It's really a two parter, with two happy endings! I found an hilarious website when I was new to the net and emailed the webmaster and told him he should meet my daughter. Eventually he emailed back and said something like "What about the mom?" and it went from there. Because of our distance (he in Alabama and me in West Virginia) and our HUGE age difference (He was 19 at the time) this was not a romance that could be played in the "real world"--but it took us almost a year to accept that. We remain very good friends to this day (7 years later!) and are convinced we are soul mates. For any of you old timers, I used to run a site called "An Internet Romance" on one of the bigger sites. We've all gone our separate ways, and I miss you guys! Eventually I met (through that online support group!)a wonderful man. We married and I moved to Canada. We will soon celebrate our sixth wedding anniversary and have a 5 year old son. Miracles happen, and I have been blessed with two.

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Date:

05/04/06

Name:

Steve Woolfrey

Email:

loco_lobo2003@yahoo.ca

Age:

49

Dated-online-before:

Yes

Would-recommend-dating-online:

Yes

Story

To whom it may concern. This is a true story. Should you care to take the time to search "lone56wolf" and "lilmissxy" you will find a lot of background and verification in the Plentyoffish.com forums. Note, names, places and obvious identifying details are omitted. Steve Autopsy of a Dream What an ugly fate for such a sweet dream. A shame that I had to kiss this one good-bye. Oh, I'll live with its Hell, and for a while she was like a breath of fresh air, but I should have seen it coming when she brushed off that first compliment. What part hurts the worst of all? I saw it way too late. Something was eaten deeper into her than I could ever dig long before her eyes stopped flirting with mine. Love truly is blind. See, we were one of those fairytale couples. Amazing how something so random as a typo can lead to us places we'd never normally be. In the early days of August, she happened onto that dating site, then sent a message my way. It turned into an encounter between one who was there by pure chance, and one who'd given up on love. Was it fate? Faith? Circumstance? Did it really matter? Seemed almost natural that we were destined for "happily-ever-afters". Love's supposed to grow over time. I heard it puts down roots for the charmed. Guess we were, but kind of shy too. Our profiles said: "looking for friends". For almost a month, she and I traded e-mails - ten a day sometimes - and not always at a "penpals" level. It seemed kind of funny, ten days and thirty-seven e-mails after she sent that first message, when she worried I might think she was stalking me. Stalking is unwelcome attention. Hers was welcome. Between the lines of oh, so many messages, hers was almost clear enough. Could she really be interested in me? Instinct is what I didn't trust. Love hasn't always been kind to me in the past. It took a nudge from a friend to steer me in the right direction. Even today, I'm grateful for that nudge. It was in the dawn of September when we met for the first time. She was just so refreshing and new. There was a simple innocence in her I'd never encountered before: a comfort, a trust, a certain something. We traded magic the very instant our eyes met and we shared that first long embrace. She told me I'd won her when I first called her "Babe". There were obstacles - kidneys, Court and a jealous ex being the worst. We stuck together. The monster who was her husband filled a few letters. "How long is he going to wait?" was the theme of a few more. "For as long as you're the pot of gold at the end of this rainbow" I replied. She warned me her mother would object, but it turned out that wasn't true. In two dates, and an incredible volume of e-mail, feelings grew fast. Some, maybe too fast…. How can I ever forget the trail of our peeled-off clothes between my couch and the bed? Though her clues and hints were many in our e-mail trade, it wasn't planned. All it was going to be was a late September weekend getaway from her stress. Things just naturally led where they did. Her glow brightened my next many weeks. For the next month-and-a-half, we lived the sweet stuff of romance novels and bed-time stories. In reflection, there were signs too - signs I should have noticed when she told me how she was the family "black sheep", or when she signed back onto the date site - then claimed I told her she had to. A clear warning should have come when she stalked her prey through the forums (a certain rival of sorts) then publicly attacked with such rabid conviction. I'm so guilty of accepting people at their word, reading silence as acceptance, and seeing "all is right" in a smile. We were two lonely people who fell in love at first sight. Babe and I lived an emotional high, made big plans, and rushed toward a fairytale goal. It was just within our reach. Somewhere along the way, we must have bypassed that "best friends" stage. My friendliest guess is she got scared. What couldn't she tell me about? Soon, she who urged me on was she who accused me. It was too late for me to put on the brakes without at least one of us getting hurt. In reading through those many letters we traded, in among all the words of love, life and the tomorrows we were going to share, she mentions feeling depressed. It came just days after that first time we made love. Was it that, the pills she'd stopped taking (something to cope with the boy's behaviour issues) or problems at home? Hers did sound very unsettled. Family Court wanted statements from the kids. She was hurt because her son wanted to go live with his father. It hadn't worked before. Her ex placed too much emphasis on being single and drinking. Responsibility only got in his way. I often wondered how he could have any legal rights at all if he'd really beat that child. Conditions in that poor kid's own home life must have seemed awful desperate if he'd choose an abusive dad over her. The boy really believed she didn't want him. Late September and the first part of October we worked around the Court stuff. I found it strange that she didn't want me to be there with her. She was worried about an impression I'd get. Mine was already made. Reality does its things to lives. It doesn't make the person. Here was a woman worth all the supporting patience in the world. The only place I could be supportive was via e-mail. It mattered, but I respected her wish. October and a big way into November, we lived on Cloud Nine. I spent time with her and the kids, and loved every second of it. We announced us to the world - in gratitude and love - all over that dating site's forums. Late October and early in November, we visited with each other's parents - her Mom first. Her kids took to me like I really was one of the family. They praised me up to their father whenever he quizzed them about me. She insisted he just wouldn't let go. Seems, in the past, whenever a girlfriend dumped him, he was back on her doorstep looking for a way back in. She swears he ruined several of her relationships that way. I promised I would not be so easily driven away. Oddly enough, for a woman who was supposed to have been so terrified and abused, she seemed to push a lot to keep the fight hot. Though words of love never dimmed between us, and our time together was magic, stress always seemed to find its way to her. When it started to get obvious - like when she flinched if I touched her in her sleep, or in those silent thousand-yard stares - I asked her what was wrong. She excused it as pain from her kidney trouble and fear about her upcoming visit to the city. I'd been in doctor office waiting rooms, ER and that examining room with her. I'd held her hand and hugged the pain away several times. It was so easy to accept her at her word. She's told the world I was her rock of support. Sometimes I wondered if I was with her too much. Deep down, I knew we'd moved too fast. We'd agreed to overnight stays, then a few days, then one week on one week off. We spoke in terms of forever. She never seemed to want me to leave. I always felt like I belonged. Even she called it my home. She promised she'd let me know if it was time for me to go. When I was at my place, and agreed to come on one day, she'd invite me over one, two, sometimes three days earlier than we'd planned. I truly believed she wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with her. Still, there were the hints that we could be together too much. Though I felt like I was getting some mixed signals, I was so sure we had a level of communication where she felt free to say what was on her mind. As long as she didn't object, I felt welcome. I can't put a date on when I saw it happening. Her eyes showed hints of something other than love. Was it guilt? Shame? They'd stopped fixing on mine. About the same time, our open-hearted talks slowed. She didn't cuddle (face-to-face complete with kisses) before we went to sleep and started dodging the hugs she once so loved - but she still took the time to let me know she cared. "What's wrong?" was now answered by an evasive: "Nothing", or: "I already told you before". Our trip to the city was coming up soon - and she's been in pain. If it was something else, I didn't hear. I watched and felt the signs. Really hurts to know she wouldn't speak, when something could have been done - or the heartache of a lingering death might have been softened. That third week-end in November, we had to cut our visit to the cottage short. Her son came home stressed and sick from his father's house. All the way back, she was upset, worried that I'd be mad about it. I understood. Explained, in complete honesty, that I was a bit disappointed, but the kids have to come first. She seemed uneasy, but relieved. Though I didn't know it at the time, this was the last week-end we'd spend together in this place we first made love. Only thing I can put a date to, and associate it with anything, is November 23. That night, I lashed out in my sleep. I've hit many a wall. This time, I hit her! Anyone who's lived trauma will know what that's like. I remember she woke, panting in a panic, because the hit scared her so badly. I felt terrible, so guilty about it. She laughed it off a couple of times throughout the day. Said it didn't matter. Even she's kicked me in her sleep. It happens. Thing is, in every letter after that (yes, we did leave little love e-notes for each other) "I love you now and forever" was just a simple and chilly "love you". Her mood took a dark turn that day. That night was the first without a good-night kiss. In the very early hours of morning, I woke in pain. I don't know if I cursed the ache or shushed the dog as I got out of bed. She came downstairs shortly after and demanded to know if I'd called her "bitch". Things came to a head the next day. She was in a particularly bad mood. I asked her if I should go home - meaning does she need some distance? We were, after all, together better than half the time. She heard that as a threat to break up with her. Angry, she accused me of playing head games. She would tell me when she wanted me to leave. To add to my confusion, the very next day, she told me she needed some space. Bottom was coming up fast…. Several times, I watched as this girl who was supposed to be so much in love with me accessed her ex's e-mail and dateline accounts, messed with his profile and deleted messages from potential dates. She didn't even try to hide what she was doing. It was like a family game. She claimed it was so much fun to play headgames with him because he was supposed to be such an abusive person. Those mixed signals were getting completely fouled by now. Why would she be trying to keep him from meeting someone if she was so adamant about keeping him out of her life? I felt like I didn't even matter. It hurt me to the core. I asked her one day if she was going to pay me as much attention should the time come that we end things too. There was a day she found her sister's address in his list. She deleted it, then even went so far as to phone and make accusations. All the while, her ex was still getting mail at her address. After that, some previous banter about views from her webcam - and a comment that she forwarded to me from some Internet game friends about a "threesome" while she was in the city - what was on her computer screen became a touchy subject. All of a sudden, a pastime we'd shared since we started seeing each other became "crowding her" and invading her privacy. She avoided affection - the biggest reason we fell into each others' arms in the first place. Excuses were being made of why we couldn't have together time - things that hadn't been issues in the beginning. Late in November, I was bracing for the end. The romance was fading fast. She just seemed to care less and less about us. This wasn't the lady I'd fallen in love with. I wondered if I was giving her enough, or if it was worry about her medical issues. To ask only brought increasing anger. To show, brought fire. I was hearing how she only asked me to stay because she felt guilty when I went home and sorry for me that I was there alone. Where once, I could speak openly, now I had to pick and choose my words carefully, for they would be used out of context against me. Her ex refused to take the boy while she was in the city. In that early December week we were gone, he was showing up at her house, jealous and cursing her out. That caused a lot of stress in the kids, and in her. I'd seen her mean streak in several e-mail attack/retaliations with him, then a cyber assault on a forums drama queen. Now, accusations heaped on me were getting spiteful. I was a controller, blunt, jealous, untrusting, pushy, selfish. Interesting, I'd seen all of those traits in her already. She flew into a complete rage when I asked about childhood sexual abuse. My insecurity did not stem from a yesterday. This was and now. It really felt like she just kept me around for the ride to that distant medical centre, and to be her protector and tour guide while we were there. Just a week before, she'd forced me to questions. Scary stuff or not, I was still her rock - brave and feeling for her. The mood was tense all the while we were there. She promised a "honeymoon" during our time away. For the first time, we didn't make love. We had sex. The week before Christmas, she sent me home again. Now, I was pressing her for intimacies and pushing for those tomorrows we'd only talked about - but to the face of the world, she "loved" me as much as ever. I was possessive just because I was there. She accused me of making her private life public in those forums we'd danced on before. A friend's name spoke from my sleep, sometime weeks ago, means I'm cheating? That's how she found out the ex was. How do you explain to anyone who doesn't want to hear? For the record, I was always faithful to her. Too much truth may have been coming to light. It escalated to a blow-out about how she stalked her ex-husband online, how he seemed to know so much about our personal life (not stuff the kids would know) and how she seemed to be so obsessed with him. I wondered if she was looking for all the things she hated about him in me, and was finding them. "If you want the SOB so bad, go back to him!" His pet name for her? "Babe"…. Christmas, I discovered her sister wasn't the monster she'd been painted to be. Some family talk about her ex and a comment about stalking upset Babe. All the holiday, I felt the need to talk. Some things from our last time together still bothered me. We just couldn't get the time. Then next day, when things slowed a bit, she read a voice raised in pain and frustration as a temper. Now, she was accusing me of trying to be more important to her than her kids! There was no point in going on. You can't reason with the unreasonable. As I left, I told her: "Have a nice life." A day later, she said she needed some time alone to think. It's not all her fault. I'll accept my part of the blame. That hit in the night shouldn't have mattered. It seems like it woke something more than just her though. Frankly, I didn't recognize the brake lights. That's my biggest mistake. Our interpretations of the word "space" must have different meanings. My response to cold shoulder is to believe I'm not giving enough. Clingy isn't a pretty thing to a lady who's second-guessed a dream and started to feel like she's being pushed. The name-calling, the accusations, the interrogations - hers only hurt my confidence. What did she expect me to think about her stalking her ex? It's all okay if it's her? Is it really over between them? What else has she lied about? She wouldn't talk, so all I had to go on were guesses and some bad experiences. She claimed I haven't let go of my past? God forbid, I'd had to dig into past relationships to analyse this one. That killed it. She knew how to be scared. Her father and her ex-husband were abusive - and now she worried about words in dateline forums. I couldn't get any answers from her. She was already gone, so what did I have to lose? Writing is therapy, and on those forums you get feedback. I didn't want "poor you" and sunshine. I needed some hope, yet I didn't want us to be identified. We were a well known couple. Our story, love at first sight, was magic to a lot of people there. In a pseudonym, I thought I could keep a low profile. Some details were changed or added, but the issue stayed intact. I asked what I had to. A friend of hers saw it (coincidently, that same friend who'd nudged us together) and recognized it. Seems she knew more about us than I was told. She must have some good details - or I didn't add enough cover. Babe was bothered more by the stuff I used to disguise her from the world than she was the problems I addressed. There was no proof I wrote it. Accusations were laid. I denied. Somehow, I hoped she'd care enough to read closer and understand the meat of the story - our story: What did I wake up that night? It was wrong for me to deny it, and the whole thing just sort of got harder and harder to get out of. A few days later, she said she'd drop it. What's done is done, but I knew, and so did she. It always would have been there, unresolved. I admitted to it. Had to. The guilt was eating me up. It wouldn't matter what I spoke in my own defence. In her mind, only she can be right. That name from a dream was someone real, so I must be a liar. My neighbour is a nurse at the local psychiatric hospital. As a friend, it hurt her to see me depressed and near tears. She knew about my heart condition, and worried about my colour. Seemed pretty obvious to her that I was under a lot of stress. She gave me a shoulder to cry on, and an ear to bend. I told her what I'd done. She didn't like it, but understood why, and liked the anonymous way I posted it. I just couldn't make head nor tails out of what this lady I love was saying in chat. I felt guilt, because I knew she was right - I was lying. But, accusations about so many other things at once (all in MSNese, odd spelling and icon) confused the hell out of me. My friend read the transcripts with me just so she might understand better - and got a very a balanced perspective. She seemed to think Babe was "a bit crazy." Yes, it went against my morals to show private messages to someone else. I feel my shame. Was it really an outright betrayal of trust? It wasn't done out of malice or to fuel any gossip. My friend is a professional. She read only pertinent information, as therapist and as an interpreter. This lady I love is a very confused and private person. She is embarrassed that someone else knows. Apparently, it was okay for her friend though…. Later, she created a thread to get some advice, but not in the same way. She didn't believe we were so known, and posted in her own identity. In that thread, she made the same accusations in public that she had to me in private. It hurt, but I was going to leave it alone. My friend knew the whole story. She posted as neutrally as she could. In a second post, she revealed she'd seen the chat transcripts (without revealing details) and called her out on some of her own fibs. Even I received a couple of e-mails about that thread. It proved my point that we were a well known couple, so it partially justified my use of an alias. In one, I was accused of being an abusive bastard and how could I do such a terrible thing to such a sweet girl. In another, we were inspirations to all single people. What happened? I posted a very public apology and an explanation for what I'd done. Essentially, it was the same letter I sent to her. She was very annoyed that I'd "hijack" her thread and demanded to know "who the hell is she?…" (my friend) Then, she called. There was a lot of confusion and accusations about my friend. No matter how I tried to explain, it wasn't getting through. I suppose when one is the measure they gauge others by?... We both had a big part in this thing, and I really hoped we could get over it. Long and the short of it is: It messed up, and she was so busy condemning me she couldn't (or wouldn't) see where she did. Outside of her own trust issues, she's pretty big on she can do no wrong. Heck, she's only human. We spoke of counselling. I can admit to my own issues, and seek help with them. She won't have any part of it. What is it she's so afraid of discovering about and admitting to herself? I've had counselling - a lot of counselling. I learned how to deal with my past, to be comfortable with my past, to live with my past, and to speak out my past. I had to dig up my past, confront it, then bury it properly. She keeps hers all bottled up inside of her. That is danger in the making. I wish she'd told me my speaking of yesterdays bothered her much sooner than she did. By then, her mind was already set. Her fear was I'd blow up at her the same way her ex would have. Over the next couple of weeks, we saw each other twice. Both times, it was almost as if we'd fallen in love again. Hugs and kisses were as warm as ever. "I love you" was still right there in her eyes - but secrets lived in there too. There was something she wasn't saying. On chat, she was distant and suspicious. I know she was afraid to say much, lest I "tell I to the world". I meant it when I wished her "have a nice life ", but I really didn't want us to be gone. I hoped it was the meds - like she insisted - or medical stuff. This door was still open, and she played it. She opened chat as many times as I did. I could tell she was busy with something or someone else. She was evasive - always seemed to tip-toe around anything I dared to ask. No matter what I asked of us, of our relationship, of our future, I was pressing her - disrespecting her privacy. Then, after we'd closed chat, one night in mid January, I remembered details of my father's upcoming surgery. I couldn't remember if I'd told her, so I phoned. She seemed to think I had other motives - like I was checking up on her. In an e-mail, she suggested my call was just an excuse. Now, what was its real reason? She accused me of being obsessive and, for the third time, told me it was over. Why had she second guessed us to death? A week later, a day after her "very personal and I wish you'd respect that" appointment, we met for coffee. That day, on a long drive through the country, we spoke in honest and open terms. It was the first deep conversation we'd shared since early November. I sort of had to keep her talking. She told me it wasn't because I was a bad guy, or had those ugly traits she'd painted on me. They were excuses for her own cold feet. She was worried because she didn't know how to tell me how she really felt. Again - she based my reaction on her ex's sins. Now, she was afraid of surrendering her independence. I will have to admit, we did move into a forever-type deal fast. We'd only met in very early September. I was a bit uncomfortable too. Initially, she set the pace. Oddest part is, it was that "know what I want and go for it" confidence I found to be her most attractive feature. Thing is, her kids are getting up to the age where the child support will soon be running out. That puts her on a single person's welfare if she can't find someone who'll support her. Is it the control she's afraid of losing? On her invitation, that final week-end in January was an intimate one for us. The kids even gave us some together time Friday night. It was warm and inviting - but the magic just wasn't there. Saturday was friendly enough. Of course, the ex entered our conversation. Apparently, his new girlfriend was pregnant - and she was upset about it. Her son was throwing temper tantrums. Teen-agers, eh? As usual, he'd lost his Internet again. The whole family's addicted, so it causes a scene when she's "had enough". He complained about her need to control everything. Sunday, it was time for me to leave. She was distant again. Back at home, she didn't want to chat much. Monday, she was chattier. Most interesting was when she asked me to write a witness statement for an upcoming hearing. Of course, I did it without question. I did see what happened, and I promised I would be there for her. Besides, we were attempting to reconcile. I mean, didn't we just share a passionate week-end? No matter, she made sure all the details were just the way she wanted them. Throughout that week, the chill settled in again. It was obvious she was busy with someone else on the chatline. One word responses, evasiveness and long delays are dead give-aways. If I asked a anything close to a sensitive question, it was answered by a question. "You busy?" - "Why do you want to know?" I recalled the almost obsessive compulsion with which this "stalker" once e-mailed and chatted with me. A couple of times, my words got me in trouble. She got into the accusing and speculation when she saw I was back on the forums. Nothing was about her. The tragic truth is, her circumstances are just too similar to most of the ladies from my yesterdays. She was always threatened by some idea that I couldn't let go of the past. How could I explain it better for her? My past has passed? It's the hope each dream from yesterday inspired that's still alive, waiting to be realized in some special person. I thought it was her. Thursday, when I said something about going offline, it took just a half minute for her to change screen pics to the "bait" pic - the one with lots of cleavage. That first week-end of February was a kidfree one for her. As a mother, she'd earned it. I wasn't upset to know she wanted some alone time, just a bit disappointed that I couldn't share some of it with her. I was accused of being suspicious. Seemed to be following a trend in her ever-increasing worry that I thought she was cheating. If I'd thought that, I wouldn't even be speaking with her. It was so easy to see the things that angered her most were the very things she did herself. Told her maybe I'd call on the week-end. Her answer: "I might not be home" made me wonder. Did she want to work on this thing or not? Mixed signals are the calling card of a really messed up mind, and I was getting them in spades from her. Still, I trusted this lady, and told her so. She decided that was a challenge too! It brought on another barrage of her assumptions and mind-reading. Maybe she was right. Maybe I really was trying to convince myself. How can you trust in headgames and secrecy? What I do know of her past has me doubting anyone male could have a future with her. She's driven every man who's ever entered her life away. Case in point: Her last boyfriend left after six months. If she played the same controlling head games with him as she did me, the poor man lived in Hell. Shortly after he left, he married. Obviously, he was feeling desperate in his life with her and set something else up for the escape. Even her son has been verbally abused by her too-sharp tongue. Is it any wonder he wants to go live with his dad? Saturday, I got the most blatant display of control yet. I'm a writer. Dateline forums are great places to get immediate feedback on your ability to reach hearts. At the same time, I can feel like I'm speaking with someone who cares. I might be able to offer up some helpful wisdom that just might ease someone out of a world of hurt. The topic was relationships that hit the brakes. Very up close and personal - for both of us. Again, I wanted to keep her name out of it. I used another alias, and offered from recent experience. Thought, this time it would be out in the open when I told her about it. Just a day or so before, I'd caught hell for not telling her about those other things I posted. First, she accused that I was just attention-seeking and looking for pity. Next, she went into a grilling about whether I loved some ex-girlfriend or not. Then, she worried everyone online would put two and two together and think it was about her. A month before, she said I was crazy for suggesting the same thing. There really is no way besides her way of pleasing her. I caught hell again. Reality hit me like a brick. In her eyes, I can do nothing right. Her son said it. She IS a total control freak! Without help, there's no way it can ever work. February 4, five months to the day from that day we fell in love at first sight, I gave up all hope for any relationship with that woman. For the rest of the day, I just cried to my guitar. That night, I took her suggestion. I wanted to see if other people thought I was hanging on to the past in sharing experiences from it. They're offered so a troubled person knows they aren't alone. Generally, folks seemed to be comfortable with it - if the story wasn't simply airing dirty laundry. Most felt if someone felt threatened by an anonymous story, then that person probably had issues and should seek some help. Me and my big mouth. Throughout the day, it collected answers that didn't agree with hers. That afternoon, my now-ex's friend (in an alias) responded. She revealed she was the person who'd got us together, then went on to parrot accusations about things she'd only heard from someone else. Would it have been hard to just let it go like she always thought I should do? Not when you're driven by spite. This poster accused me of stalking my ex, harassing her, threatening her, yelling at her about her kids and various other outright lies. Malicious gossip at its worst! Then, my ex joined into the "debate". Their assault wasn't even co-ordinated. They conflicted with each others' tales. Several members pointed out they had just proven my point in a public forum - but it was still more than enough to paint me the bad guy. It was reported to site administration. I have the transcripts and messages. My phone records bear me out that I did not call "every ten or fifteen minutes" all week-end - just that once Sunday - despite the ex's charges that my number was on her call display. To my knowledge, she doesn't even have Call Display. Wednesday and Thursday, in her dateline name, the ex's friend posted snipes to a couple of my posts to keep the fire hot. What is so hard about letting go in people with a lust for control? Again, I reported it to site moderators. Babe's very clever with creative manipulations of fact. As a result, her and her friend got me banned from posting - my means of letting go. Through my report to site administration, the dateline was aware she frequently accessed her ex's accounts, vandalized his profile and deleted e-mails from ladies he'd met online. His profile was self-deleted. I sent him warning to change his passwords. Did the site tell him more? Has she been caught at this before? They're questions to which I won't get answers. Through a deletion error, she contacted me Sunday. Now, she accused he'd been over and beat her up because of it. I can't believe her any more, but if it really happened, I felt terrible - until her last words rang home. Heart meds don't make for great libido. In the heat of magic, everything is perfect. At the start of this dream, it wasn't a problem. Faith in a partner is a tonic. As the fire went from her eyes, it was. Believe me, it wasn't her - as a woman. It was the cruel and mean games that woman was playing. Hers tore the confidence from several men. Mine started tearing that evening a longing gaze made her guilty. Why'd she feel accused in these eyes? Now, words of a lady who'd sworn her love for me said: "What good are you to any woman? You can't even get it up." Is that a little spiteful?... Following a review, the ban was lifted. I posted my opinion to a board that asked if it was considered cheating if someone played around if they knew the relationship was ending. Maybe she felt her guilt when I responded: the decent thing to do would be end the relationship first, or he/she would just rubbing a soon-to-be ex's nose in it - and yes, it would be cheating. As usual, to her mind, everything I posted was about her. Vanity got me banned again. Did I get my answer? I couldn't believe the crap she pulled on me in her very public display of drama. Wonder what she thought that school-girl stunt really proved aside from temporarily discrediting me in her mind. Really, it seemed to me she would stop at nothing to crush me. For what? All I'd done was love her. What was next on her agenda? It had to be stopped. I had to get the cops involved. She's got big trouble ahead of her yet. I'm her only witness to mistreatment at the hands of her urologist. She got a statement January 30, but it was sent on e-mail. She copied it and pasted it into Word. It's not signed, so if the doctor disputes it - and I know he will - she still needs a witness. Owing to the fact that we were broke up, I was no longer her boyfriend. A first year law student can figure out it was obtained by sexual favour. I'd still testify - just as I promised - but I won't lie to help her win her case. She's just not worth the trade-off. Am I hurt? I was. That's fading fast. I don't hate her or anything. In fact, a sweet taste from the autumn we loved will probably linger a while. I can't have anything to do with her and I'll never trust her again. One day, she'll realize what she's lost. Her latest bout of mania seems to coincide with the fact her ex's g/f is pregnant. Now, I kiss the dream goodbye. Have a nice life, Babe....

---

Date:

11/05/06

Name:

Lisa

Email:

ambrosel@optusnet.com.au

Age:

20

Dated-online-before:

No

Would-recommend-dating-online:

Yes

Story

My husband and I met online 8 years ago while I was at the tail end of a relationship. Initially there was no romantic interest between us and it was merely people sharing mutual similarites. As time went by we became closer and chatted, mailed and spoke regularly; an expensive exercise considering he was Canadian and I am Australian. Eventually he chose to come here to visit for 12 months. We chatted for approxiamtely 18 months before we met in the flesh and I must confess he had proposed marriage before we met in person. I had said yes, but had warned him that we may not gel in person as we did online or on the phone. By the end of his 12 month stay we were officially engaged. We were apart for nearly 18 months after our engagement due to visa regulations and it was an extremely difficult time for us. Meeting up again was an incredible experience and we finally married in May of 2003. We had our first child this year, born in April 2006. She is an adorable baby girl and although it was hard to be apart as long as we were I consider myself so lucky to have met, married and had a child with a man I met online. Good luck to all those who have found love on the internet and to those embarking on relationships my advice is be wary, be alert and be yourself.

---

Date:

1/13/07

Name:

Chelsea

Email:

owneorallbishies@gmail.com

Age:

19

Dated-online-before:

Flirted some, if that counts

Would-recommend-dating-online:

It depends on the circumstances

Story

well about 6 years ago (i was 13) i liked this one guy, alot! His name was Cody, i was always to shy to ask him out for so for about 2 years i was his best friend i mean best friend! well the 2nd year a new girl at my school liked him and i found out he like her. this new girl was a new friend of mine and since i had never had any claim on cody, they started dating, they had been going out for like 4 months when i moved. i went to his birthday party a year later. and the new girl (alana) and him ended breaking up the next day. after that i never saw him again. But recently i looked him up on myspace and i found him so we started talking again. he tells me he has a girlfriend named jaime and i mean his whole myspace is like a big shrine to her practically! i've always like cody, but we havent talked in like 3 years. but i talk to him and he flirts with me and he asked if i had any boyfriends he should know about? I didn't answer him though. but during those 3 years i rarely ever thought about him and now he's back into my life and i can only think about him and that bothers me because he's got a girlfriend he really loves, and i would be really mad if he really does love his girlfriend and he's flirting with but i told him i kind of forgot about him, and he said he never forgot about me. i have nevered loved anyone more than him. and i'm afraid to like him because he has a girlfriend, i think he still has feeling for me too even though he has a girlfriend. I guess i'm just going to wait and see what happens with him and his girlfriend. if they break up? i don't know... the girl he's dating seems nice, but i get the feeling she's cheating on him because he always says he loves her but she never says it back. I don't know what to do and now my heads hurting. so now i'm 19 and this is still going on! i wouldn't mind any suggestions!

---

Date:

04/15/04

Name:

B.

Email:

barbarany_9@hotmail.com

Age:

45

Dated-online-before:

No

Would-recommend-dating-online:

No

Story

The "love" of my life had many other victims and is destroying lives. He has two small kids and a wife who are being destroyed as well. I wasn’t random like many internet predator abusers - I was TARGETED!- by someone I had known for over 25 years. The Set-Up The man I speak of is named Jeffrey D. We were intimate briefly in undergrad school. He left to go to another school and I didn’t hear from him until April 2002, when he emailed me “out of the blue.” Seems he got my email address from Classmates.com where Jeff has contacted other old friends, too. He was currently unemployed (formerly the publisher of a children’s magazine) so had the time to IM me every day. We caught up and Jeff quickly initiated an emotional affair. He found out that I have a child, am disabled and divorcing due to verbal and emotional abuse. He was extremely sympathetic about other abusive relationships I had been trapped in and my new internet “love” couldn’t have been nicer. As soon as I got comfortable with this emotional cyber affair, the love bombing began. Love Bombing Begins This man likes cybersex and initiated it with me rapidly. I told him to slow down, I wanted lunch or coffee with him, a face to face, in order to catch up. “You’re moving too fast,” I told him. Jeff began pushing to meet me at a hotel right away but I told him no. So he refused to see me! Even tho I was 10 minutes from his office (when he found work again), he kept telling me he “couldn’t control himself” around me. The “no lunch” but “meet me in a hotel,” was confusing, especially since I was convinced we were “falling in love” again. Jeff told me he couldn’t see me socially because, “I’ll have to make some hard decisions about my marriage even if we just see each other as friends.” I told him I was not comfortable getting involved with someone who was married with children. After my reality shots, he would distance himself from me for a few weeks and come back with a vengeance. Jeff used a lot of “confusing talk” with me and then played dumb. He would twist things, making it seem like I was acting overbearing and aggressive when he had initiated and encouraged my interest. This man elicited sympathy from me by saying that ADHD was his “problem.” He has told me he is on Wellbutrin, and called them his “happy pills.” My new cyber love-interest also bragged that he had a friend whose mom worked at Pfizer so he could get his Vitamin V (Viagra). This he needed, you understand, because his wife was so cold and unfeeling towards him. He shared these things with me not as “sob stories” mind you, but as one old friend telling another the truth about how their life had turned out. He Lectured Me on Morality In September 2002 my estranged husband found some files on my computer regarding this emotional affair. The abuse from my ex escalated. Because of my feelings for Jeff, I defended him. Sharing my predicament with Jeff, his response was to distance himself for weeks. When he contacted me again, it was as if the emotional stuff between us NEVER happened. When I did bring it up, I got MORALITY lectures as if I was the one who began this “affair.” As many abused women do, I rationalized it. I remembered him as a very sweet, quirky person in college. He had been the great love of my life and it was easy to be grateful for the attention and friendship and rationalize away his inconsistencies. We continued talking for many months as friends. Jeff admitted to me he was addicted to online-porn, roll-playing and masturbating. He masturbated to me live on web cam once (NOT at my request) and sent me pictures of his penis and a number of pornographic images. These I deleted immediately but allowed him to send in the name of friendship. He started requesting I do things for him on web cam all the while telling me it was “the only safe way we could be together.” I was very hesitant, confused and unable to identify the game. He would then apologize profusely for even asking. He might say cybersex was o.k. or the next day or even an hour later act like he didn’t remember what he'd said or done. Sometimes he’d trivialize cybersex. Many times he told me he was ’sick’ and ‘needed help’ but when I offered to help he placated me and did nothing. Astonishingly, Jeff even told me, “I look at every woman like they are just a hole.” Do these guys even remember who they are talking to? I realize now, he’s a Sex Addict Obviously, I realize now, he’s a sex addict, among other things. The things he wanted me to do became rougher and cruder and I started to say “No” to him again. Even tho I had had a prior relationship with him, this was ALL waaaay out of character for me. I even stopped speaking to him for weeks at a time because I was so uncomfortable. I was vulnerable and flattered by his interest so I kept forgiving and going back, telling myself, “After all, we are good friends.” I wanted desperately to see him and eventually gave an ultimatum. Finally, we ended up having lunch–just once, in Manhattan in Sept. 2003. It didn’t go well. Jeff was stand-offish and didn’t look me in the eye. The conversation revolved around pleasantries with ZERO acknowledgement of what had passed between us. He positioned us at a table where he could sit FAR away from me. Besides the remoteness and stinging reserve, the most disturbing thing he did was upon leaving. There was a short flight of stairs to negotiate. I gingerly walked by the wall so I could steady myself. Due to my disability, my legs aren’t always reliable. Rather that stepping in and helping me, like most normal people do, he stood at the bottom of the stairs and backed away like I was a monster. I cried in the car on the way home. This is a pattern for most abused women. They get charmed into an emotional attachment, allow abuse in the name of love or loyalty, get hurt and begin to doubt themselves and their worth, then rationalize away the abuse when the charm is turned on again, and finally, insanely, they think they can help the guy understand what he has done and help him change! We are good natured, loyal and loving idiots regarding this pattern. Sad to say, I allowed myself to become part of the pattern again, even after this lunch that demonstrated his true and evil character. I introduced him to his Next Target Jeff also fancies himself a writer. He writes extensively on Judaism, ethics, morals and religions and has his own website. In January 2004 he wrote an article that I helped him with. I then introduced him to an online female friend in California who is also involved with Jewish issues. She helped place his article in a couple more places. I eventually learned that shortly after I introduced them, Jeff initiated an online affair with her. She ALSO comes from an unhappy marriage and a background of abuse so, once again was an easy target for him. Ironically, he came with my recommendation! She stopped talking to me for weeks, and finally IM’d me to ask me a question about him. One thing led to another and after 36 hours of no sleep, here’s what came out of that marathon conversation: He was going to see her in San Francisco to start an actual affair and tried to prevent us from communicating. When this woman and I did talk, we realized Jeff was weaving a tapestry of lies and conceit, the details of which are perplexing, often silly and sometimes painful. It became evident that he was a deeply sick person. Where the lies ended and the truth started, I doubt even he knew. IMAGINE MY SHOCK when this person I thought I knew, who told me he was not very demonstrative was saying “I LOVE YOU, YOU ARE MY SOULMATE” and sending cards, 3-5 calls a day, etc to someone he’d known less than a month and NEVER met in person!! At this point, it was obvious even to me that this love of my life was not “into” me. Jeff had given her his business phone, his cell number and a variety of ways to contact him in only 5 weeks of knowing her. He did not do these things for me. Yet if I tried to discontinue the friendship with this realization that he wasn’t INTO ME - he would come back and BOMB me with how much I meant to him and “please don’t stop talking to me.“ It was easy to see his sickness and dysfunction; it was harder to get at my own. I was still being reeled in with the obsession that somehow I could help him and that he needed me. When our sex/love addict friend found out us girls had talked, he spent several days trying to call and smooth it out. Finally, he IM’d me threatening to tell my husband we’d had an actual affair and assured me he was a good liar (I kept a copy of this IM in case I ever needed to protect myself). The woman in California and I made a decision to turn all our information over to his wife and rabbi in hopes that they would intervene. This of course, fueled his anger and since I live the closest to him and Jeff knows my address, I was and continue to be very scared. I doubt he would come and try to harm me, BUT I realize I don’t really know this “love of my life” after all. “I possess psychic powers and can touch women with my mind.” He once told me and a younger friend of mine (that he also tried to ‘get jiggy’ with), “I possess psychic powers and can touch women with my mind.” Jeff also said he was going to Israel to help out with their politics and make a few “predictions.” When I called him on these things he said he was only joking. Then I got an email from a friend and they showed me some websites (theeroticreview.com , escort-finder.com , utopiaguide.com , jaginfo.net ) where Jeff had been posting reviews of at least 12 call girls he has seen in NYC. It simply confirmed that there was a heck of a lot more going on than just a couple bad online affairs. Some of these hookers he saw prior to me and some during. In one of our first conversations when he moaned about his wife I asked him if he’d ever been to a hooker. His reply? “Oh NO!!! I would never do THAT!! My wife and I have money and a good lifestyle and if she found out she would take the kids from me. Besides, it’s immoral.” (can you hear me laughing?) It seems Jeff is registered at every “sex partners wanted for discreet relationship” site on the net (eroticy.com, redpersonals.com). He makes no effort to hide that he is married, has kids or even exactly where he lives! This freaked me out because his wife works at home. Any psycho could go there and kill her and/or his kids. What You Need to Know He has had executive jobs with toy and child-related firms and currently works for a family magazine and travels extensively. Jeff once told me he enjoys working in industries that focus around children. This worries me. I worry about the progression of sex addiction and if it may extend to children. Last summer he sent me and another friend, pictures of his 11 year old daughter in provocative poses in her bedroom saying he and she were just having fun. Disturbing. Sex addiction is progressive and dangerous and I don’t know how far his has gone. He once sent me a photo from Halloween where he dressed as Spiderman, his penis visible through the costume in public. The woman in California sent me a homemade porn video of him and a pornographic e-card he sent her. She also tried to turn these over to the FBI—thinking, like me, that the police might want to stop a man like this. They don’t. Or won’t. Or can’t. Who knows? The Police Target the Girls, not the Guys I finally called the NYPD Computer Crimes division and made a trip to their offices. They took everything from me and thanked me profusely (a big change from my local precinct). One of his online escort booking agencies was busted and his favorite madam was arrested in a very public trial. This female sociopath plead out to only one charge, but thank God for something. My local Dept of Investigation is involved, as well as the CPS and State Attorney General. But what galls me is, these agencies seem to have done ZERO about him or the other men who buy these escorts. His Wife’s Denial His wife has been told everything but has probably been so abused and lied to by him she doesn’t know what to believe. Because I haven’t kept his secrets and have contact with his other targets, Jeff and his wife tried to charge me with harassment! Yet I had cut off contact long ago! By sending copies of everything I had on the guy to the detective they involved, Jeff and his wife’s harassment accusations stopped. I did find out he convinced his wife that I masterminded everything (LOL) and I planted it all. She’s staying with him. He tried to tell people I was stalking him and the woman in California was harassing him. Jeff is good at what he does, casting his demons onto others and convincing those in his life that HE is the victim. I did hear that Jeff convinced his employer, his rabbi, and his family that I had been stalking him for years. Fortunately, I saved many of our conversations and IMs with the source codes so I can prove this is false, if need be. My tormentor also claimed that I planted the stuff on the escort review boards, but fortunately he paid with his credit card and the ISP information bares me out. He is still very angry that he’s been exposed - rather than saying “yes i did this” and trying to make amends he is occupied with blaming anyone who tells the truth about him. He treated me like a dirty secret Jeff’s been snooping around lately, 16 months later. He emailed one my friends last summer and has been found going to websites I frequent, no direct contact though. I am still being treated for PTSD to learn how to overcome my pain and memory of this. He’s a sexual addict, a psychological sadist and yup - a sociopath. He tossed me away without looking back and is only interested in his "image" now. He doesn't seem to care what he did to me, my friends, my health, my trust. He got me to keep his secret for two years - and treated me like a dirty secret in return. This man I'd known in person & online for 27+ years!!! my "FRIEND"!! Don’t fall for this. No matter what - TELL!! Nothing beats fresh air and sunshine to disinfect abuse.

---

Date:

02/02/07

Name:

Brett

Email:

iamdre29@hotmail.com

Age:

21

Dated-online-before:

No

Would-recommend-dating-online:

It depends on the circumstances

---

Date:

02/27/06

Name:

Shauna

Email:

oneandonlynana17@hotmail.com

Age:

17

Dated-online-before:

Yes

Would-recommend-dating-online:

It depends on the circumstances

Story

I met someone through the chatroom on Letssingit.com. They said they were a 19 year old male, and lived alone in Tennessee. This person also told me that they lost their dad due to a drunk driver, and their mom due to alcohol poisoning. They said they were adopted and were abused by those people. They gave me their cell phone number and we'd talk for hours upon hours. One day I was messing around on whitepages.com and I put in their number. It said it was a Marshfield, WI number. So I asked about it and they told me that they really lived in WI. They told me that they moved there because they thought they had family there, and that they were living with some lady and her daughter. Awhile later, they told me that the had liver cancer. I wanted to go help them but they wouldn't let me. Well, to make a long story short...they later told me that they were actually a 17 year old girl, who still lived at home, and was getting ready to graduate high school. I could not believe it. This girl actually goes online and meets girls, pretends to be a guy, and dates these girls without them knowing. She even changes her voice on the phone! I found out that she was dating this girl for 4 years, and the girl didn't know that she was actually a girl. I told her to get help, she said she would, but she hasn't. I don't know why, but I remained friends with her up until a few weeks ago. I even moved to WI (not because of her). One day when we were going to the library, her cell phone started ringing and she thought it was one of my friends. I answered it and some girl said "is Owen there?". Owen is the name she went by with me, but has also gone by Ryan and numerous others. So I think she's still doing it. If there's anyway I can get her in trouble for what she does, I'd do it. Be careful of who you get involved with online. I met this girl in October of 2004 and we dated until June 2005 (until I found out she was a girl.) If ANY of this stuff sounds familiar to you, you can talk to me and we'll figure out if it's the same person. I know of at LEAST 8 people she's doing this with. She dates them all at the same time. I've even talked to these other girls and they said there was phone sex too. You can email me at oneandonlynana17@hotmail.com

---

Date:

03/18/06

Name:

Cathi

Email:

...Private...

Age:

15

Dated-online-before:

Flirted some, if that counts

Would-recommend-dating-online:

It depends on the circumstances

Story

Well it all began when i was a freshman and i was 15. I used to go to chatrooms to meet guys because i had low self esteem and all of that goodstuff. Well one day during the time before my spring break i was at my best friend's house and she was in the room with some other chick and i started chatting with a guy who i'll call "wutang". He was from New York and lived in Miami just like me. He wasn't all that cute and he probably thought i was just another internet "b". Anyways, during spring break i was partying with my friend during the whole spring break and at one point we were online and that guy wutang introduced me to his friend (who i'll call Pun). He said Pun thought i was cute and bla bla bla. Well he didn't have a picture of his friend so i assumed he was a fat boy who thought he was hot stuff from New York. We talked on the phone and my friend and I were being stupid so the conversation was REALLY short. Pun started sennding me text messages and would ask me what i was doing and stuff like that... i would tell him i just woke up and he would say "how cute" i was thinking..wow this guy is def. a loser. We stopped talking and towards the end of my summer vacation he kept calling me but i was too busy because i was always partying or hanging out. Eventually, one day we talked and the reason he kept calling me was because he moved to some hick town up north in Florida and he received a letter from a school in Sweden to play football at their university. I was "suppose" to move to sweden so that was all a strange coincidence. Eventually we started talking everyday and then of course we got together. I never knew what he looked like and finally one day he sent me pictures in the mail and i said, hey! he isn't a fat dork. He was pretty good looking. Tall, tanned, muscular etc. Well we dated on and off and had other relationships as well and months of not talking but generally we have been in it for awhile. FINALLY during my JUNIOR year of highschool when i was "17" i finally saw him. It was about a week after valentines day and it was awkward because i was being a b that day and i didn't want him to come see me because i was sick and i looked like s. We eventually started visiting each other more often and when the time came around for my senior pictures, he came down to Miami and ended up staying to live with me. He lived with me for six months and there were good times but also bad. After i couldn't take it anymore i broke up with him. Then he moved back in and then back out. I think he'll be moving back in, in the next few months. But then i'll be going off to college up north and then who knows what will happen. All in all, i found somebody who pisses me off and makes me mad but yet, he sees my beauty and loves me unconditionally and cares about me enough to take all of my crap and my attitude. He embraces all of my flaws. he loves ME. What matters is that i found somebody who helped me end the bad things i was letting myself get in to. I helped him with his situations and it all came from the internet. It IS a weird and crazy relationship, but we do love each other.

---

Date:

03/22/06

Name:

Jenny

Email:

Age:

15

Dated-online-before:

Yes

Would-recommend-dating-online:

It depends on the circumstances

Story

I started talking to this guy, He seemed really great and his words melted my heart away. I found out he lived near by so i decided why not meet him. We spoke on the phone quite alot before that and then we decided to meet. Everything went great, he was such a cool guy and a great kisser too. I was so glad that we meet over the net first coz i found out his personality but i got scared and left him.

---

 

Date:

07/13/04

Name:

Dreamer

Email:

Age:

21

Dated-online-before:

Yes

Would-recommend-dating-online:

Yes

Story

Hi I know I've posted here before. Twice in fact but I just wanted to update again. I went to see my baby a third time and it was even more cool than before. I may be moving in with him sooner than I thought at least we are talking about it. I'm excited but a little nervous too because change always makes me a little nervous and this is a big change!!! I'm excited though cause I'll get to be with the one I love. We've been together almost a year now and I still feel the same that I did when we first started going out. this is also gonna be a big adjustment for us, I mean of course we'll be happy that we get to see each other every day yay!! But since we are used to not seeing each other a lot, it'll be a big change and when we fight we won't be able to just hang up on each other, we'll have to face each other, you know? He is being so supportive too, he says if I'm not ready, he'll wait but he is ready. I know I'm ready, I just said as long as I can still talk to my mom sometimes like call her up, because I feel that you should always be allowed to talk to your family, that's important. I wouldn't stop him from talking to his family and he wouldn't stop me . In fact he seems to get along with my mom and I like his parents a lot. They are very nice people. Well I'm blabbering so I'll just end it here. I talk about it here cause this site has people that understand because they are going through the same thing. Well I'm done for now. I know finally!! LOL. I'll update one last time in a few months or so. Dreamer

---

Date:

7/28/04

Name:

Mreey.....

Email:

Age:

13

Dated-online-before:

Yes

Would-recommend-dating-online:

Yes

Story

Ahem...well my story has not ended...its still going on and i dont know what i will be doing in future.Ok this is how it goes. I met this really cute guy online who lives in a suburb ,a few km away from my place. He sounded caring and good enough to go out with..Well so....I just started going out with him!! I realised i really loved him and i couldnt live without hi so i gave him my cell's number and he started calling me.We talked everyday and our love grew stronger and stronger....its been 5 months to our relation and we expect to see a good future.May we be successful!! Its not wrong to fall in love online....but one must learn to be cautious and decisive!

---

Date:

06/15/19

Name:

Sean

Email:

Seanpr3002@aol.com

Age:

17

Dated-online-before:

Flirted some, if that counts

Would-recommend-dating-online:

Yes

Story

I was chat in an AOL teen chat room one day then this girl sent me a message saying "Hey" we talked for a while, exchanged pictures did all the usual stuff then I found out that she’s in the same state as me and its about 157 miles from me, then we started talking everyday then she said I think I’m falling in love with you, and I felt the same way. She’s drop dead gorgeous and we have so much in common I felt like I’ve found my soul mate. I have felt like I’m in heaven since I’ve met her, we have been going out online for the last three months and we are so much in love. I can’t wait to meet her in person. Sean and Rachel 4 life

---

Date:

08/16/04

Name:

Laydee

Email:

Age:

14

Dated-online-before:

Yes

Would-recommend-dating-online:

It depends on the circumstances

Story

Well, my story goes like this. Last February, I started going on online chatrooms for fun. I met a guy who we will call Josh. Josh was older by 5 years. We started chatting, he was very sweet. He asked for my messenger sn so we could talk more. I gave it to him and he added me. We started talking everynight. I got to know him more and more everyday. And then, for about a month, he never went online. I didn't forget about him but it didn't bother me that he didn't go online. But then one day, he appeared on and I started chatting with him. He told me that his internet got cut off and that he just got it connected that day. So we got to know each other better which lead us to grow even more closer to each other. I exchanged pictures with him and he seemed to be a really good looking guy. Unfortunately, he lived really far from me in another country. We didn't let that stop us from loving each other. One day, he asked for my phone number and I gave it to him and he called me and we talked. I was very surprised since it was very expensive but he did it anyways. He's my bestfriend and my lover. We promise each other to hold on tight and that were gonna meet one day. Oh and did i tell you? He wanted to talk to my parents to ask them if it was okay for us to move in together down south so we could get married??? He's such a sweetie and NO i didnt let him call my parents. but he might ;) I LOVE YOU BABY!!!!!!!!

---

Date:

8/21/04

Name:

Liz Lehr

Email:

Lizardvab@aol.com

Age:

13

Dated-online-before:

Yes

Would-recommend-dating-online:

It depends on the circumstances

Story

I have a story. I starting talking to this guy online(Doug)and he lived in the city next to me, which is about 20 minutes away from here. We started talking on the phone, and got to be really close friends, after a week of talking he asked me out, and he seemed like a sweet guy, so I said yes. We kept making plans to meet up, but he could never find a ride, finally one day we met at the mall.(I brought my best friend with me, ya know just in case) He was okay looking not what I expected. We had a great time, just hanging out, holding hands, kissin, u know boyfriend/girlfriend stuff. Aight, later that night, he calls, and tells me that I wasnt what he expected and he dumps me...i cried(how stupid) The next day he apologizes and tells me he wants me back(i thought i was "in love") so I said yes..again. We dated again for three months. Then one day I stayed home sick, and I called him after he got out of school, and he told me another girl(Ashley) was hitting on him, so he dumped me for her. Later she dumped him, and he went out with one of my best friends(Khari) and I was SO PISSED at her, becuz she knew that I loved him, and she still dated him,...they were over 2 weeks later. Then he starts dating a different ashley and then are still together. My heart was boken, but I will get over everything, I always do.

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Date:

8/26/04

Name:

liz

Email:

Age:

15

Dated-online-before:

Yes

Would-recommend-dating-online:

Yes

Story

about august of 2003 i met a girl online. her names elaine. we talked for awhile and i hadnt had the best of luck at relationships, so i decided to try out an internet relationship. i got along w/ elaine very well and we seemed 2 connect the first time we taked, so i asked her out. fortuneatly, she said yes. we dated for awhile and i knew i was falling in love with her, and it was sort of scary becuz i had never been in love b4. so i decided 2 be stupid and ask out another girl. brittany, at the same time. i went out w/ both of them for awhile...until brittany sumhow got ahold of elaines s/n and i got busted. 10 minutes after i told elaine i loved her i was saying the same thing to brittany. how twizted could i be? elaine broke up w/ me and i knew wat i needed 2 do .i knew i wanted 2 be w/ elaine, and that i truly loved her, not brittany. so i broke up w/ brittany and apologized 2 elaine. the entire time i was talkin 2 elaine bout it i was crying, and even 2 this day i cry when i think bout wat i did. it took awhile but elaine finally forgave me and we got bak 2gether, but everytime we fought we seemed 2 break up. we broke up 7 times in less than a year. tho we fought so much i knew that i was in love w/ her and wanted 2 be w/ her...and she says shes in love with me so we always ended up gettin bak 2gether. over this last summer my fone got cutoff and i got kicked outta my moms house...so it was hard 4 us 2 talk. but i constantly dealt w/ my moms yelling and visited her so that i could use the fone and internet there 2 talk 2 her. we dont talk much on the fone, cuz we get shy, but on the internet we talk quite a bit...and we get along great. i know the distance is a problem...her being 6 states away...but i'm going to fix that problem. pretty soon here i'ma be 16 and go off 2 jobcorps and then move there 2 be w/ her. but ya i love her os much...

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Date:

1/24/90

Name:

lilcaligurlauren

Email:

Age:

14

Dated-online-before:

No

Would-recommend-dating-online:

It depends on the circumstances

Story

Nearly 2 years ago, I was in a chatroom and met this guy. We lived about 2 hours away. I thought he was really sweet and we planned on meeting in the chatroom every day at a certain time. Technically, we were online dating. About a week later, he began asking for my number. I refused to give it to him for a while but eventually gave in because I felt bad for him. But it was my cell phone number so don't worry. I figured he wouldn't call me anyways. About a half an hour after I had given him my number, he calls me. I pick up the phone and everything was so awkward. He said the most random things and most of the time the line was quiet because we didn't know what to say to each other. Plus, he had a bit of an accent so it was hard to understand what he was saying. Since it got to uncomfortable for me, I told him I had to go and we hung up. About 15 minutes later he called me back. It was really odd and I decided to pick up. I told him that I really had to go and we hung up, again. The next day, I went out to eat with my friends and I could feel my phone vibrating. I couldn't talk to him so I just let it sit there. But he kept calling over and over. He called 13 times in less than 20 minutes. After about 2 days, I got so annoyed I would just hit the end call button. He probably knew I was hanging up on him so he kept calling over and over. After about 5 days of refusing to pick up the phone, I decided that I couldn't deal with this anymore so I went into the chatroom and luckily found him in there. I kindly and gently broke up with him telling him that I thought he was sweet and all but I don't want to talk to him 24-7. He said he understood and he seemed a little bummed about it. I thought it was kind of weird about how sad he got because we hadn't even met before, let alone talked on the phone. The next day, I found a voice message on my phone. The guy had left a message threatening to come over to my house and kick my ass and that I was going to regret breaking up with him. I wouldn't even call it dating! Anyways, a couple days later, my friends and I went to one of their houses to do a school project. I told them about the incident and we decided to call the number up by looking in the call log. Someone picked up the phone and I started yelling at him and asking why he was saying all that stuff to me. I guess that was a waste of time because he had just hung up. My friends and I called him back and it turned out to be his friend's number. Since I was so mad at the guy, I had deleted his number. So we asked his friend what they were doing by leaving that message on my phone. He was so confused about what we were asking that it took about 10 minutes for him to give us his number. So we called up the guy and he picked up the phone. I start yelling at him asking why he said all of those things to me. He said he was "sorry" but I couldn't buy it because I'm not the forgiving type when it comes to someone threatening to hurt me, even if they weren't going to. So all of my friend's started grabbing the phone and yelling something into it and then the guy starts saying stuff like, "It wasn't my idea. It was my friend's idea. Call him back." So we call up his friend and his friend says that it was PART of his idea. But it was mostly "the guy's". So we call "the guy" back and then he started saying that he never left a voice message on my phone. Then he began saying it was his friend who said all that but the voice sounded exactly like the guy's. When I get the phone back, I threaten "the guy" not to call me ever again or I will go and kick his ass. I hang up on him and was relieved for the next few days because he hadn't called me once. Unluckily, on the day of the dance, I was helping out my friend's decorate the gym when my phone begins to ring. I check the number and I see his number on the screen. I walk outside and say, "What do you want?" He says he's sorry for all of the stuff he said and that he deserved to hear all of the things my friends and I said to him. He told me that he loved me and that he would never want to hurt me. Feeling frustrated and so close to crying, I calmly and truthfully told him to not call me anymore and the reason why. The reason, I don't remember. Then, I tell him that we should only talk in the chatroom and that would be it. He agrees and we hang up. The next day, I'm at a tournament with my friends and I see a voice message on my phone and check it. It was "the guy" of course. He had left one final message but it was sort of hard to hear because he was talking so fast and he had that bit of an accent. He said that he loved me so much and that he called me a lot because he didn't want his heart to be broken again. And he said that he was sorry for all the things he had said and done and that he wanted a second chance. I was kind of mad at the point, but was happy at the same time. I was mad that he even said those hurtful things in the first place, but it felt good to hear him apologize and such. But I never called back because I didn't want to deal with another problem that might occur and the part about me not even getting to see him and be with him was something that would be hard to do for me. So instead I tried to find him in the chatroom again but never saw him after a month. About twice a year, I get a phone call from him. I pick up but all I hear is a faint song for about 10 seconds and then the person on the other line hangs up. I don't know what the songs were and I don't even remember what they sounded like because I could barely hear them alone. But sometimes I feel like I should've given him another chance...

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Date:

8/28/04

Name:

Samantha

Email:

liveandletrock@yahoo.com

Age:

12

Dated-online-before:

Yes

Would-recommend-dating-online:

Yes

Story

Once again over my summer vacation I was sitting in front of my computer practically welded to my seat. I was on an online chat room hoping to meet a new friend. But what I got out of it was much more. There I was; A shy girl who only had one long-lasting relationship before. I was too afraid to ask a boy out in person. So, I resorted to the chatroom where I woulld talk to people for many hours at a time. One day, I asked if anyone wanted to talk to a 12 year old girl from Rhode Island. I got about three responses (all from boys). One of them seemed shy. Just like me. I decided to talk to him. Soon, we got into a really interesting conversation and realized we both had many things in commmon. Except for the fact that he lived in San Francisco! We gave each other our pictures and I had to say that he was really cute! He had the looks, personality, and it was easy to talk to him about anything. I thought I had it made. One day after I walked home from school, I turned on the computer and there he was. His username glowing as if to say "Hello". The window popped up with him starting our usual friendly conversation. After only a few weeks of knowing each other, I had given him my phone number and my address with him doing the same. But, this conversation was different. He had asked me out. I was so shocked and my heart was racing. I said yes, very happily, and for once in my life I felt as if I had found that special someone. But unfortunately, it didn't last. We both decided that it wasn't worth it because we would never see each other and questions were in my head about other boys who already liked me and lived in my own state. I was so hurt when he broke up with me. But, the tears and my broken heart were worth it. I hadn't found a soul-mate but what I did find was friendship. Someone I could talk to about anything and everyone. I still love him to this day and I will never forget the young teenage boy I fell in lo