- Name:
-
shell
- Email:
-
seee_shell@yahoo.com.au
- Age:
-
36
- Dated-online-before:
-
No
- Would-recommend-dating-online:
-
It depends on the circumstances
Below are stories that visitors to this site have chosen to share concerning the experiences that they have had meeting, flirting, and falling in love over the internet. It has been surprising to me to see the wide differences in ages, experiences, and advice left here. I hope that you can benefit from those experiences, because everyone that has been kind enough to share has left a part of themselves here to help you see what they have faced and what you could be facing should you chose to go the route that they did. That's not always easy, as I'm sure you know.
Story
What happens when your cyber lover is half a world a way & fighting for his life?
I was one of those people who heard stories on the TV about people falling in love on the Internet & I would think how ridiculous. What sort of person would even look for love on the Internet? I would never even go into a chat room, but I do read a business bulletin board & I post on subjects that are of interest to me & over time, I formed opinions of the different posters.
It is a busy board & I skip through threads & read the answers of the people who I found most interesting & informative. I found one person Tony who really had my attention due to his highly intellectual, well-balanced & always respectful answers. Tony posted a question on a subject that I had recently implemented in my business, so I sent him an email, as I didn’t want to share with my local competitors.
That was the first of many emails exchanged & then Tony asked did I have icq as it would be much easier. I joined up & we continued our business discussions this way. Over time, some of our personal lives were also included in our talks & we joked about some of the people on the board who had a dislike for Tony’s views. Our time chatting increased in length & frequency & I looked forward to our chats.
I was very intrigued by this man, I liked his approach to business, and he was passionate about his work, which I found refreshing. I asked Tony to look at my new business web page. I have my photo on it & he commented that he would now be able to put a face to my name. I asked him to tell me what he was expecting me to look like & I would do the same for him for a bit of fun.
Tony said he expected me to be 40 – 55 & he thought brunette not blonde. I picked him to be 35 – 45 & I envisioned dark hair, clean cut, neat 3-piece suite type (the type I tend to like). We were both wrong, I am 36 with long red hair & he is 50 with long blonde hair (hippy type).
I have difficulty going to sleep & I only get 3 or 4 hours a night, which did not escape Tony’s attention, he was interested to know why & how I managed on so little sleep. From this moment on we rarely talked about business, Tony was intent on teaching me how to relax, he asked me lots more personal questions about beliefs & spirituality. We spoke of our partners less in conversations, I am married & he has long-term girl friend. One day I commented on how lucky, his girlfriend was to have a guy like him & how I would love to be able to discuss the more spiritual things with my husband. Tony said he thought I fitted his image of a perfect partner, he thought I was intelligent, independent, inquisitive & ravishing.
All of our feelings started to come out & we began to share intimate details & thoughts with each other. We both asked the how could this be happening & where were we heading. We were going to be attending business conferences in each other’s countries in the near future, so we were planning some time alone before & after.
Tony had a busy schedule with his business & he was a respected author on his passion for finding safer alternatives to chemicals. Tony also counseled troubled youth & was packing his elderly mothers house & moving her into an apartment. Although he never told me at the time, he was also going through a nasty break up with his manic depressant girl friend. Tony always made the time to talk to me even if it was a quick call between counseling sessions just to say I love you, miss you, thank you for entering my life & he left inspirational quotes & poems for me every day.
Tony’s hectic life caught up with him & he began coughing up blood, Pneumonia was diagnosed & strict rest & antibiotics were prescribed. Tony refused the antibiotics but did go to bed. I now had his company for many hours per day, between sleeping he would be on icq talking to me, it was wonderful, and we were so in tune with each other that we would even sometimes dream the same dreams while asleep.
X-rays showed that Tony’s chest was getting worse, so he reluctantly took the antibiotics. Soon after taking the pills, Tony seemed to get worse each day. Tony stopped taking the pills as he thought they were causing more problems than the illness. I was getting very concerned about him & I had to face just how strong my feelings were for this man, I had never loved or felt love that was so powerful & he said he felt the same about me.
I had dreamt about a friend of mine passing away & this disturbed me as I had similar dreams before people I knew had died. I discussed this with Tony, which started us talking about life, death & the if I died tomorrow what would our regrets be etc. The following night I dreamt about the death again of my friend who had cancer, this time I couldn’t see her face clearly but she had her long blond hair back which she had lost with the chemo.
My friend passed away the following day & I told Tony I would be devastated if anything happened to him & he had to promise me to look after himself as I didn’t want him dropping dead on me. He joked that I couldn’t get rid of him that easily & he only wanted to be in my erotic dreams.
I had the same dream again but this time I could see the persons face with the long blond hair & it wasn’t my girl friend it was my lovely Tony’s face. Now I was terrified I didn’t want to tell Tony about the dream & I was worried about him. I pleaded with him to go to the doctors & I asked him to do it for me to reassure me, as I was half a world away from him. Tony was having trouble typing as his eyes had been giving him trouble & he had terrible headaches. Tony sent me a message saying he was going to the doctors shortly & he would leave his icq on for me to send him something while he was gone that would cheer him up.
Ten hours passed slowly while I was waiting to hear from him, the longest time apart since we first started chatting. I tried phoning him but couldn’t get through as he was connected to the net still. I couldn’t go to bed in case I missed him. I finally I heard uh ho & all he said was hi. I went into a babble of how worried I was, how much I loved him & how was he feeling, his reply was back shortly.
That funny feeling hit me & I knew something was wrong, he hadn’t returned yet so I went over to the bulletin board to see if he had posted there. There he was with the heading TONY’S HEALTH UPDATE, he had hundreds of emails wishing him a speedy recovery so I thought it was easier for him to post on the board, but I was bursting to talk to him.
I was not prepared for what I was about to read, it was – ‘Hello I am Tony’s lady friend Julie & I wanted to let you all know that he is very seriously ill in hospital, I will update you all when we know more” Then a message came through my icq that said “ I am Tony’s lady friend & I have just been reading some of your very interesting history together” The next message she sent me said she had been to the hospital to tell Tony that she had read our history & she never wanted to speak to him again, she said that he was now alone, sad & sick all because of me. I felt helpless & responsible & very concerned about Tony.
I found the hospital that he was in & phoned to leave a message to say I loved him, so he knew he wasn’t alone. The nurse put me through to his room & we talked for a while, but he was having trouble talking so I told him I would call him later. He told me he loved me & he had waited all his life for me to come along & I felt the same.
I decided to fly to the USA from Australia to be with him while he recovered. I spoke to him later that day about my plans & he said he didn’t expect me to do that, even though he would love it, he said to wait until he was out of hospital so we could really enjoy each other’s company.
We had never discussed being together as a couple as it just didn’t seem possible before, we had agreed to be the best of friends, lovers in our dreams & hopefully in person a few times each year. Now our talk was urgent we couldn’t settle for less than being together for the rest of our lives – to hell with the problems this would cause, it just had to be. I started making plans to leave 2 days later, I knew that I would still need to come back to sort out a lot of important details – children, husband, business & I knew I wasn’t thinking to clearly so I told my husband I needed to take an urgent business trip.
The next announcement on the B Board from Julie read – “ TONY IS TERMINAL – as next of kin I was contacted by the hospital & told that Tony has advanced lung cancer which has spread to his brain where he has 3 large tumors. His condition is inoperable & so advanced that it would be unlikely that he last the day. I ask all of his friends to pray for a miracle for him & to know how much I love him & wish this wasn’t happening to me.
I was devastated & now I didn’t know what to do, I phoned him hoping that he would be ok to talk to me & he said that he would not let it beat him & he needed his friends on the web to get together to research some natural therapies that could treat him. While he was talking to me Julie arrived in his room & asked who he was talking to, he told her it was me phoning from Australia – she started yelling & going on at him & I told him I would call him later, he said ok.
Julie sent me an email saying that I was not to phone Tony again as they had reconciled as finding she may loose him showed her how much she loved him (which I could understand) - she also said that if I posted on the Board again she would send copies of our intimate chat files to my colleagues & family in Australia & maybe even put sections on the board for all to see. I also received an email from a respected business friend of Tony’s asking me to back off as Tony was so upset after I had spoken to him, that he had to be sedated. His friend said that it would take all of his strength & focus to fight this & he did not need the extra emotional strain of us both pulling him in two directions. Julie was the person who was there with him & who knew him the most.
I agreed & I watched from a distance as hundreds of friends from all over the world joined together to find treatments to help our very loved friend. After careful consideration, 3 different alternative treatments were selected & a special fund was set up for us to contribute & pay for his very expensive treatment. Now there seemed to be some hope as there were many stories of people surviving from taking these treatments even though the doctors would not accept it. Not to forget that Tony was the most positive person I had ever heard of & I thought if anyone could do it on shear faith he could. Tony just needed to hang in there long enough for the treatments to start taking effect – normally around 7 days. The treatments included following strict diet & some drugs could not be given during treatment especially morphine as this would lesson the effects of the treatment & possibly make him worse.
I was devastated at the thought of loosing the man I loved & being so far away that I felt helpless. I was desperate to talk to Tony so as soon as I saw Julie was on line I phoned the hospital. I asked the nurse to check with him first to see if he wanted to talk, I told her my name & she went to check with him. When she came back, she said “well dear that is the first time I have seen this patient smile today & he is very eager to talk to you”.
I asked him all the normal how are you feeling questions & stayed away from anything personal. Tony asked me did I think that he would be able to beat this disease & I said yes I know you can. Tony started to cry, which broke my heart, as I didn’t want to cause him any grief. Tony said he missed me & loved me desperately & he had been very sad since Julie told him that I emailed her to say that I wasn’t interested in keeping in contact with him as I never intended to follow through with my promises it was all just a fantasy. I was furious at her for making him sad by lying to him, but I didn’t want to add to it further so I just said I was emotional at the time & I didn’t mean it.
I continued to phone Tony when I saw Julie on line our talks were full of hope & he also had a chance to tell me of some of his fears & some secrets that needed to told. I told Tony that when he recovered we would take a holiday away together to a place he had always wanted to go. I had been on a recent business trip where I bought him a present & he said hey where my present, I told him he would have to wait until he got home as I don’t think Julie would appreciate me sending him black silk boxer shorts. I told him he was the sexiest man I had ever seen & I couldn’t wait for him to get well so we could go away together and make love & I would put his boxers on him in person. Tony thanked me for making him feel horny & human again. I told him I would call him the following day, as he was tired.
The next days report on the B Board from Julie said that he was in a lot of pain & he seemed to be delirious as he kept asking for his black silk shorts & he didn’t own a pair. Julie gave permission for the doctors to give Tony morphine, as she couldn’t bear to see him in pain, so that was the end of treatment. Another brain scan was done which showed a total of 8 tumors & Tony had lost most of his vision. Tony started to have seizures & was on a fast decline.
The next day when I spoke to Tony he sounded terrible, his speech was hard to understand & I felt bad that I had missed a lot of what he said. Tony was sad & he sounded like he had lost all hope, I knew that this was the last time I would get to talk to him & I had a hundred things I wanted to say but I just couldn’t. I told him about all the important things that he had taught me that I thought of every day & I read him a lovely dedication by a person who Tony sparred with daily over his anti chemical stand. The article was the most beautiful thing I had ever read & it summed Tony up to be the inspiration that he was to thousands of people all over the world & these words were from someone who didn’t appear to like Tony.
Tony said he could be honest with me & he didn’t feel he would be able to survive this & he didn’t understand why this was happening now after he had found my love. He asked me why did I think that we fell in love if we were going to be parted so soon. I fought back the tears while I told him that I thought what we had together might only be an introduction, so it would be easier to find each other again in another lifetime, much sooner & we would get our chance to have a family & grow old together without hurting the other people that we love. Tony said he wasn’t scared anymore as he had something to look forward to, he was tired & needed to sleep. I couldn’t say goodbye my last words to him were I love you honey - sweet dreams & he said I love you baby & I will find you there.
That was 10 days ago & he is still alive but he is unable to communicate and is now in a hospice/nursing home, he is on large doses of morphine to keep him comfortable & they have stopped his IV fluids. I feel sad for this amazing man to be laying there ravaged by cancer & I hope that he is at peace.
I have never felt such sadness & I have cried for weeks, my family & friends don’t know what is wrong with me. I know that when the pain of loosing him subsides that I will be a better person for having known & loved him.
- Name:
-
robin
- Email:
-
- Age:
-
41
- Dated-online-before:
-
No
- Would-recommend-dating-online:
-
It depends on the circumstances
- Name:
-
Paula
- Email:
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nala_4_simba@hotmail.com
- Age:
-
15
- Dated-online-before:
-
No
- Would-recommend-dating-online:
-
It depends on the circumstances
Story
I just want to say that I think the net is the best place if your looking for real love, because you can really get to know someone so deeply before having to decide whether your physically attracted to them.
I met my boyfriend Ben online about 8 months ago now. I never planned to fall in love with him but I did, and he fell in love with me.. :D We decided to become a couple as much as we could because we were growing so close. We decided to be a couple before we had seen each others photos and before we had spoken on the phone because we were sure of each other. Then we exchanged photos and loved them, because they were us :) We talked on the phone after about 2 months and were both a bit shy at first but after a while got used to each other and we got along GREAT still do, now we can talk for hours-lol. Anyway days, months went by and I fell deeper and deeper in love with him. A lot of people were skeptic about it at the time and didn't believe I was feeling love, maybe cos of the net situation, and maybe cos of my age, but all that mattered I knew I loved him and he loved me too. After 5 months of going out, we got to meet in person. We could only spend the day together but those 6 hours were the best 6 hours of my life. We spent most the day holding each other, hugging holding hands and spending time together. We knew each other sooo much that we didn't have to try and get to know each other. We didn't need words...our hearts lead the way and I felt more love than ever. It was hard leaving him... very hard..but the memories of that day were and are still amazing and very special to both of us. That was in the summer. Now 8 months together, we are still as strong as ever, still very much in love and we believe we are soulmates. Next summer bens coming to stay for a week!! So we have some hope to keep us going. Net relationships aren't easy when you live as far apart as us (400 miles) but with enough love..we have such a great deal of it.. it can work. You just have to have faith. It may be a while before we can be together permanently due to finishing our education, etc, but we're never going to give up hope.
I love Ben so much, he is the most important and special thing in the world to me and all I want to do is make him happy as much as I can. When I think of all we've been through it makes me smile... our love is so amazing and we know each other inside out.. I thank the net for bringing us together :)
xXxXx soulmates xXxXx
